The Incredible Padma Aunty!!

The day before yesterday I spend more than 2 hours, totally mesmerized by the memorial service of Padma Vikraman Nayar, organized by the Singapore Malayali Association (SMA). I have met her only once, a few years ago, but the eulogies removed any sense of unfamiliarity about her. Padma Aunty as she was popularly called was more of a background person and the extent of eulogies was disproportionate to any of the formal positions, she held within the SMA committee. And most surprisingly, all but one of the speakers on stage were males, mostly past SMA Presidents, a reflection of the authority she commanded during her life.

At a personal level, I really struggle with the Malayalam Language and often felt that I was more of a Delhite than a Malayali. Despite this rather distant view, I have been amazed at the SMA’s annual Onam Village celebrations. The scale and extent of the program is astonishing, with at least a few thousand people attending. I always wondered about the incredible humans behind the Onam Village events. And during the memorial service I got a peek into how the Malayali Association evolved over the past century and the story of the incredible Padma Aunty.

One of the speakers, Padma Shri. Gopinath Pillai, BBM, Ambassador-at-large at Singapore's Ministry of Foreign Affairs, stated that Malayalis are the most influential, Singapore based sub community from the Indian subcontinent and had recently overtaking the Sri Lankans. It would be fascinating to look at the data that he had quoted to make this observation. The Malayalis, have historically shown a tendency to group together and the Singapore Malayali Association was formed in 1917 and there was another organization called, the Singapore Malayalee Hindu Samajam which was formed in 1926. The SMA has in its history, multiple name changes and I sense that there are fascinating stories behind those name changes. The same gentleman made a very powerful comment about the importance of identity, and the need integrate into the local community and become role models for others in Singapore.

Now coming back to Padma Aunty, she was the 10th of 16 children of Vayanasala Kesava Pillai, who has a road named after him and had setup a library (Vayanasala is library in Malayalam) which to this day houses some very rare books. Kerala in the past used have a matriarchal social structure and as a consequence the inheritance is passed not to your kids but to the relatives on the mother’s side. Kesava Pillai, because of this practice was disinherited and had to give up his studies. Am sure that, the father, like his daughter has a fascinating story, waiting to be told.

Perhaps inspired by her father, Padma Aunty was the quintessential background worker, who despite her omnipresence in the SMA community, very skilfully avoided any negativity that comes with such involvements. In fact, one of the former SMA Presidents, Viswa Sadasivan remarked that he initially viewed SMA office as a smoke ridden, gambling den. At 31, when he was approached by Padma Aunty, to become the president, and he expressed reservations. Aunty sternly reprimanded him stating that, whether he liked it or not, he belonged to the community and owed a responsibility towards it and suggested taking up the role with a spirit of seva (Service). Sadasivan had a tough 2 year ride, and Aunty Padma apparently used her soft power to provide crucial support.

Another president M. M. Dollah, spoke about congenial environment of the 2001 committee. That year the previous rule of having no family members in the committee was abolished and 8 of the 15 members were women, including 3 couples and a lady who was the daughter of one of the couples. The diversity bought a sense of family to the functioning of SMA. This anecdote is very powerful because some of the corporate governance norms do have a dehumanizing effect, and it was a refreshing perspective of what can happen, in a familial environment.

During fund raising, she would demand $50 from those who could pay and as the Assistant Treasurer, she often outdid the Treasurer in her commitment. Under former President PK Koshy, she played a crucial role in raising the membership from 400 to 900 and when funds were short some members were exasperated to the extent of wanting out of their official positions. In those situations, Aunty Padma was the sane voice who articulated a sense of purpose and highlighted the need to serve the community and held everyone together. Jayakumar Narayanan, a past President of SMA, remarked that Aunty Padma had a personality that used to ignore flaws and never harmed anyone.

Way back in the 1960s, these guys would meet regularly and the stories of how they co-ordinated in an era before phones was fascinating. One gentleman spoke of how they used to meet up early morning and perform the Tryambakam prayer, with the recitation of over 1000 verses, before having their breakfast.

Aunty's family life is equally interesting, Aunty Padma was given a 48-hour notice for her wedding, and was then shipped off to Singapore in the 1950s. Her Husband, Vikraman Nayar, was a keen photographer, and many fondly spoke about their beautiful relationship. Speakers spoke fondly of their two sons. And her elder son Suresh, shared some powerful memories of his mother; at 65 she got a driving license when her husband was unable to drive. Then later at 71, she grappled down 80 meters into a cave so that she could participate in the activities that her family was involved in. All in all, I got the sense of a person who was full of hope and energy. The awe I felt, perhaps reflects how well she lived her life, and as someone said, if she was a CEO, she would have been a bloody good one.