Senti side of me
Hi Guys,
In the last few months I had a chat with some of you guys. And all of a sudden I realised that I dont have anything to talk about. Rahul and Shilpi called up most in this period and often I just did not know what to say and the forced conversation lasted for not more than a few minutes.
Then the mails from regulars like Rahul(Both), Anit and Rohit have actually dried up. It used to be such a pleasure getting a mail from these guys. But somehow today all I see in my inbox is a few fwds and mailers which I very happily block. Now let me admit that Bhanu, Anit and Shuchi have been nice enough to send some thought provoking fwds. But I would be more pleased to get hold of a mail addressed to me.
So i thought of asking some of you about how it felt getting my mails. The first reaction was of course that it is painfully long and boring. The second category of people actually said that they did not mind getting these boring strings of ascii characters. I also got some interesting replies as to why some of you dont reply.
The first group said that the mails were not addressed to them. The second category said that they wanted to write but some how felt that there was nothing to write about. The third category said that they actually had so much to say but did do so for the fear of sounding silly.
Now in response to these feelings which may or may not have come up in your minds I have a few things to say. First and most importantly my mails are addressed to each one of you. As I mentioned in a previous mail you all have affected me in some ways. You got this mail because you all have a special place in my life. Its not that I send the mails to each and every person I know.
I have had some pretty tough times in life. And all along i came through because of the people who stood by me. After graduation when everything seemed lost the guys at TIME told that there was hope left. The way Nitin, Lathika and Shruti looked at me gave me the faith to move ahead. Manish and Vipin inspired me.
At spectramind the meetings with Anand, Sumit and Nitu were great. They made me feel that the some things i did were not wrong. During my lows people esp Nitu stood by me and told me that I could still make a difference.
Then there is Vinu. He can talk non stop about sci fi stuff and computers. Half the time I am at loss to understand him yet his enthusiasm is infectious.
I had such great guys all my life but some how I have had the talent of losing them. One of the biggest examples is Rahul. He was my classmate till class ten. During my plus two days I used to write letters to him and it felt so nice getting replies from him. Then all of a sudden he came back to delhi and we drifted apart. I know that he cares for me yet I dont know what happens in his life. If he calls me I am sure going to find it difficult to carry the conversation too far ahead. I dont know what is happening in his life. I dont anything about him. Part of the reason is myself. I still see him the way he was in his plus two days and since then he has changed so much. A change that I percive so much but yet dont understand. I always felt that I was an idiot and actually was scared of looking like an idiot in front of him. This extra cautious approach resulted in a big gap between us.
Something similar is happening today. We are all changing and I know so little about the changes that happen in your life. I am getting so disconnected from you all. I dont want to repeat the mistakes I did.
I do sincerely hope that this answers Anit and Rahul(C)'s complaint that I am not being very personal.
Then a reply to some of you guys who fear sounding foolish. Can you sound more foolish than me? No matter what you tell me I would like to believe that this is one thing that i am absolutely unbeatable.
In the last few months I had a chat with some of you guys. And all of a sudden I realised that I dont have anything to talk about. Rahul and Shilpi called up most in this period and often I just did not know what to say and the forced conversation lasted for not more than a few minutes.
Then the mails from regulars like Rahul(Both), Anit and Rohit have actually dried up. It used to be such a pleasure getting a mail from these guys. But somehow today all I see in my inbox is a few fwds and mailers which I very happily block. Now let me admit that Bhanu, Anit and Shuchi have been nice enough to send some thought provoking fwds. But I would be more pleased to get hold of a mail addressed to me.
So i thought of asking some of you about how it felt getting my mails. The first reaction was of course that it is painfully long and boring. The second category of people actually said that they did not mind getting these boring strings of ascii characters. I also got some interesting replies as to why some of you dont reply.
The first group said that the mails were not addressed to them. The second category said that they wanted to write but some how felt that there was nothing to write about. The third category said that they actually had so much to say but did do so for the fear of sounding silly.
Now in response to these feelings which may or may not have come up in your minds I have a few things to say. First and most importantly my mails are addressed to each one of you. As I mentioned in a previous mail you all have affected me in some ways. You got this mail because you all have a special place in my life. Its not that I send the mails to each and every person I know.
I have had some pretty tough times in life. And all along i came through because of the people who stood by me. After graduation when everything seemed lost the guys at TIME told that there was hope left. The way Nitin, Lathika and Shruti looked at me gave me the faith to move ahead. Manish and Vipin inspired me.
At spectramind the meetings with Anand, Sumit and Nitu were great. They made me feel that the some things i did were not wrong. During my lows people esp Nitu stood by me and told me that I could still make a difference.
Then there is Vinu. He can talk non stop about sci fi stuff and computers. Half the time I am at loss to understand him yet his enthusiasm is infectious.
I had such great guys all my life but some how I have had the talent of losing them. One of the biggest examples is Rahul. He was my classmate till class ten. During my plus two days I used to write letters to him and it felt so nice getting replies from him. Then all of a sudden he came back to delhi and we drifted apart. I know that he cares for me yet I dont know what happens in his life. If he calls me I am sure going to find it difficult to carry the conversation too far ahead. I dont know what is happening in his life. I dont anything about him. Part of the reason is myself. I still see him the way he was in his plus two days and since then he has changed so much. A change that I percive so much but yet dont understand. I always felt that I was an idiot and actually was scared of looking like an idiot in front of him. This extra cautious approach resulted in a big gap between us.
Something similar is happening today. We are all changing and I know so little about the changes that happen in your life. I am getting so disconnected from you all. I dont want to repeat the mistakes I did.
I do sincerely hope that this answers Anit and Rahul(C)'s complaint that I am not being very personal.
Then a reply to some of you guys who fear sounding foolish. Can you sound more foolish than me? No matter what you tell me I would like to believe that this is one thing that i am absolutely unbeatable.
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