How I sucked at meditation :'((

Till recently I was not into meditation. The problem was that I never quite understood what it was all about. The whole idea of doing nothing seemed quite beyond a hyperactive mind’s comprehension.

The first time somebody tried to sell meditation was when I was a lowly undergraduate intern. One of my seniors/colleagues at work had apparently done some meditation and he did a hard sell on me. And he did such a good job that my expectations from the whole became rather mystical :D

The dampener was when we got down to the nitty gritties. The idea of doing nothing was a far cry from the picture that I had in mind. And my first attempt at meditation lasted for perhaps less than a minute. I guess such was my performance that my friend didn’t attempt another sell on me.

Then the next time I encountered the concept in a big way was when I got to know about Jitu. He was my classmate during graduation and we both got placed with the same company. And the last I heard of him he quit his job to join an ashram. And even when he was working he used to conduct program at the company and at his home.

I attended two of his sessions. The first one was at the company and my impression about the whole thing didn’t change at all. And then he invited me to a session at his residence for a group of more serious practitioners. After the session my friend encouraged all of us to speak about the experience. Those present spoke about the spirituality and other such matters and I stood out by my sheer incomprehension of what was going around me. That was the last time Jitu talked meditation to me :D

Then over the last ten odd years a gradual change happened. Perhaps the most important factor was that I was getting exposed to individuals who practiced meditation at one level or the other. And it so happened that I respected most of these guys even without their meditation. Their positive opinion on the subject opened my mind to the possibility that there may be something more interesting and relevant to my life.

I sensed that these individuals tended to more grounded than those who weren’t into such activities. Very specifically these guys didn’t seem to be driven at all and yet they somehow consistently accomplished all that they set out to achieve. And very interestingly all these individuals were exceptional in terms of their understanding of self and how they managed themselves.

I am no closer to deciphering how they do it. But I guess knowledge and skills do play a part in their abilities to manage themselves better. Somehow I am coming to this conclusion that meditation does help them keep their thinking clutter free.

And before I sign off for the day I will share a cool trick that helped me suck a little less in the fine art of meditation. If you focus on your breathing, then it helps prevent your mind from wandering away to other stuff.

And then today I attended a talk by a Sigrid Grobys. There are quite a lot of things that impressed me about her. But most interesting thing was for the first time I got a framework that helped me understand what this whole thing was all about. Perhaps in my next post I will summarize some of the insights and more that I gleaned from people like her. Till then enjoy J